Every single day I come across something that reminds me of you i wana just cry. It’s to hard without you here, the day you left I didn’t believe it.. I couldn’t. Do you know how long I waited after hearing you had passed for someone to say ‘just kidding adams right here!’… it broke my heart the day I finally came to realize I was never going to see you again, that you were gone.
It was at your funeral, I walked up to the front of the place, smoking a cigarette and waiting for everyone to arrive, everyone who had already arrived standing there with their heads down not saying a word. We walked in, I huged your parents and for some reason I did not say one word, one ‘im so sorry’, nothing.. because I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sit there and say how terrible it was that in reality you were gone, never coming back, because in my head I was still waiting to see you again. I still waited for you to pick me up from my house and buy me cigarettes, for us to smoke in your room and me admire all of your beautiful art work hung up on your walls, for us to drive around and find somewhere to drink and hangout and get into trouble.. but it never would happen. Ever again. I sat there for awhile, staring at that picture, hung up in the front for everyone to see with beautiful flowers around it. Just thinking of how much it truly hurt that you were gone forever. I walked out, sat in the car, and started balling. I cryed the whole night blaiming myself for not knowing you had a problem, not knowing that the missed call I got from you 2 nights before could have been the last time I ever talked to you and it kills me everyday. You were an amazing person adam, I am so lucky I knew you. I don’t care what people say about people who were/are heroin addicts.. because honestly you weren’t like ‘them’, you made a wrong decision. It just sucks because a bad decision shouldnt end a life. I love you adam, when life gets rough I think about you and I always will.
Rest In Paradise Adam J. -Arizona- Homer 11/24/93 -11/24/12 ♥
